When your single, and looking for a mate, there is one thing that remains a constant reality. The prowl. I happen to prowl online. It’s safe, you can’t catch anything and you can preview before you try on. The obvious problem however with trolling online sites for love is sifting through the clever marketing us gay men have so expertly honed to a science. We know our best angle, best lighting, when to hold our tummy or when to flaunt it. Yes, we are marketing geniuses.

I learned early on that you attract what you put out there. If you post a shot of your kielbasa or gherkin; better yet a spread wide furry rear end, complaining about attracting nothing but dogs only after sex is asinine and you just may qualify for a dimwit award. So I post photos of myself in all smiles and fully clothed. Not as interesting but it works and gets the point across.

This week, I have been hard at work. Trying to locate my next date and ended up scoring two. One on Saturday and another on Sunday!

I’ve chatted with Red for about a month and exchanged phone numbers. When he finally did call me I was on a date and promised to call back. I never did. A few days later he tried me again however, again, I was unavailable. I had no seen him online for a little when when he chimed in and we chatted some more. I learned that he liked to frequent the infamous Insurrections on Cheshire Bridge. Great place to get serviced, just watch out for the not so pleasant bugs you can catch. I have sworn off that place ever since having to make an emergency trip to the doctor to get a shot in my rear end. Needless to say, could that be a red flag? I went there and I am capable of monogamy, but is he?

After some more online chats, we finally planned a night out for dinner. I am looking forward to meeting him. All though he seems a little quiet for my taste, but he is very cute! Hey priorities right. Let’s see how it goes.

Sunday plans were made just a few hours ago with Mr. Muscle. That’s right, I got me a date with a guy that fits the mold of the most self segregated type of homo….. The muscle bear. I must admit, I and the hundreds of thousands of other gay men, fantasize about settling down with a furry muscle bear. The trouble with them however is ego. They know they are hot. AND they let you know they know in the snubbing manner in which they reject the non muscle bear. These homos are better known to me and my closest friends as the “Designer Bears”. Twinks have Kenneth Cole, 30 somethings have Prada and Muscle Bears have….well…….muscle bears. They are their own brand, complete with website, events, bars, T-shirts and all! Well, ladies, one of them is interested in me. At this point I feel like it’s all some crazy prank. After being dissed by the illusive muscle bear time and time again, one has pursued me. So, do I go on this date with the preconceived notion that this muscle bound furry faced gym dude is a player. And as soon as he figures out I’m not the testosterone pumped body hes looking for, discards me like last weeks newspaper. Or is he really into me? I’m a big boy at 6′2″ and 200 pounds, maybe thats what he likes. Sunday evening will tell the tale.

Stay Tuned!

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