I recently joined another website, which I will not mention by name. It’s always fun being the guy on the block! I have met some really interesting guys however I think each present and interesting challenge to my boundaries. 

The first and the most surprising to me is a guy who is only 24. I have never dated anyone younger than me, I’ve always been the young one. I have yet to meet him, but have chatted with him on the phone, sent more than 1 hundred text messages, I’m sure. and talked online for hours, in addition to email. We have most of the same interests and very similar sensibilities and as cliche’ as it sounds he projects a personality beyond his years. This is certainly a first for me. 

Next is a guy that I have exchanged a few message with over the course of several months. He is from another site by the way. We finally had the opportunity to talk on the phone and he made a very good first impression. We are supposed to spend some time together next week if our schedules work out. He is incredibly attractive…. at least according to his photo. The way this guy challenges my boundaries however is that he works in a church and is a religious person by his own admission. I know that I usually butt heads with religious types in the regular world but willing to be open minded about him and see. Im a sucker for blue eyes, I can’t help it.

As for Mr. Z and Giggles — Well Im thinking that is going to have to be just friendship. I really like both guys but there are just some core issues that I can not transcend. Z is far to stuck on complaining about his age at 46, what’s he gonna be like at 56?! and Mr. Giggles is just to emotionally unstable, and thats a story to be told some other time. 

I was invited to a comedy show the other night with a friend of mine at the Uptown Comedy Club over on Marietta Street.

What I did not know prior to going to this place was that it was 98%-ish black. Now before you get your panties tied up in a spit wad… that is not a bad thing, but is extremely relevant to the point I’m going to make. I realized immediately after sitting down that all of the white people in the room, all 7 were going to be targeted by the comedians. I personally think this is tacky and uncalled for but it’s simple and usually gets a few cheap shot laughs. I’m sure that each were well aware of the possibility of being singled out.

There were 4 comedians performing that night.

I’m not a naive person when it comes to the material that comedians use. The pros and all time greats are able to wield a complex set of thought, ideas, observations, cultural oddities and experiences together with masterful timing and execution to form a show that is outrageously funny. Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Cedric The Entertainer, Lisa Lampanelli, Carlos Mancia among others are all masters of highlighting the humor found in all of our micro groups. Their cunning ability to build a picture that makes us laugh at ourselves without malevolence is an extraordinary talent. While others play on simple minded ignorances that only perpetuate the clashes between various sub cultures. The show that I saw was an example of the later.

As a gay man, who has and still struggles with various aspects of my sexuality, I found myself squeamish at many points during the various “comedians” routines when the topic turned to my fellow gays. Gay jokes can be hilarious when there is no malice intended. Just like any other group we have our glaring similarities that are the basis of many stereo types. I get that. The performers this evening however, especially the headliner, spent far to much time insulting us [gays] rather than painting a verbal picture of the amusing characteristics that make up aspects of our subculture. Statements like “fuck a women in the ass, you greedy bastards” “Atlanta has too much Homosexuality”, “I had to protect my ass” did not encourage laughter, it encouraged verbal banter from the audience and paved the way for open and vocal homophobic audience participation.

Now to the point of it all. Why is it that a community such as the black community, who has endured some of the most difficult adversities in our country’s history. Who have been hosed down by water cannons in the streets of Birmingham, fought for equality at the cost of great community leaders assassinations; Who battle to this very day with professional advancement road blocks. How can this community of all communities embrace a psychology of intolerance for any other group, especially those who fight for the very same acceptance. It is shameful and speaks to the insane level of ignorance and lack of self awareness that still needs to be overcome.

As a mixed race, gay man living in the south, I can honestly say that my white brothers & sisters have unequivocally accepted me for who I am, as I am far better than my black brethren. I have never come close to feeling included as one of their own due to my sexuality. This makes me incredible sad and is the source of added shame and anger that I should not feel in this day and age. The fact that this mentality is permitted and encouraged to exist is nothing short of disgusting. The fact that gay black men have to conceal their sexuality so much so the term DL (Down-Low) now defines men who hide their love for men at the expensive innocent loving women and children is reprehensible. How can anyone expect further acceptance by a ‘perceived’ oppressor when the the oppressed is the oppressor? How dare you do this to your own!

Ill end with this thought: Never demand acceptance and tolerance from anyone until you are capable of providing the same. We are all victims of some form or racism, sexism and or homophobia but what distinguishes us as great people of character however is our capacity to see past these ignorances and continue to experience the world with wide eyed enthusiasm for the many flavors our human civilization has been blessed with.

Now for some good humor from 4 pro’s Cedric the Entertainer, Lisa Lampanelli, Carlos Mencia & Chris Rock.

Chatting online is always an interesting thing, and tonight is no exception. I have included below a part of a chat transcript of a conversation I had with a guy who obviously did not like to hear I was seeing someone and not him. — Mind you, I am not, nor ever given the impression of any sort of exclusivity to anyone.

Him: So you are dating someone. Why the fuck did you wait till now to say something

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Me: For this very reason

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Him: oh really so you date one guy send me your nude pics real nice and to think i really thought you might be different from others but your not

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Me: Seriously? Ok, well, to clarify… I had not even met or talked to this this guy yet when I sent those to you, I met him on my birthday, not that it matters at this point.

Apparently you had some premature expectation of me even though we had never met, which is not really fair to either of us. Now I’m being judged with a trite cheap shot and placed in a “like everyone else” category for being honest with you, your kidding right? How’s that working for you?

I would have been more than happy to have gone out with you, but you kept talking about sex and what you wanted to do with me which left an impression that is what you were more interested in. Which is not what I want, for which I was very clear about. I though if I kept chatting with you and got to know each other better maybe I would become more confident that was not the case. Maybe it was my fault for sending those photos, I should have known better.

You have made it pretty clear that you have formed a pretty solid negative opinion of me that is based on 1 phone conversation and a few chats and I can’t do anything about that since you will believe what you want.

I’m a single dude, man, I date, and until I commit to someone I’ll continue to date whom ever I want, when I want and will not feel obligated to explain to anyone what I do or don’t do. Especially to someone I don’t even know. Cut me some slack.

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Him: you know nothing about honesty
don’t write me a book bitch

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Me: Is that how you always talk to people? Damn